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Saturday, October 9

A Few Days Out

So far I'm feeling really great. Yes, I still have incision site pain, gas pain and it's difficult to move, but I feel much better than I expected I would.Getting up and sitting down does get easier every day, but I still can't sit in one position for too long.

Sleeping has been an interesting and unexpected experience. I can't seem to sleep any longer than 5 hours. Seriously. I think I wake up whenever the pain meds wear off. So, I keep waking around 430 in the morning which is not ideal.

Eating has been a difficulty. I can't tell if I'm hungry or empty, even though with how little I have been eating, I should be empty and then some... I sort of feel full all the time. I'm hesitant to eat more or faster because I don't want to stretch the pouch out at all.... In my nutrition class back in August there was one lady who definitley had, and was basically told she already failed. I don't want to be her.

I'm not feeling weak or faint from a lack of calories, so we'll see how this progresses this week. I am technically allowed to move on to mushy foods on Tuesday, but  I don't think I will until I can accuratley guage my fullness and hunger levels.

Tuesday, October 5

Surgery Day

10/5 @ 4am - Wake up and shower with special pre-op soap
430 am - Leave For Hospital
5am - Check in at hospital
- in addition to paperwork one of the first things you may be asked to do is pee in a cup - literally only a couple of drops. I had peed right when I woke up, so they had to to an extra blood draw instead.
6:am - Shot of Blood Thinner (in hip - this one burns for about a minute)
6:15 - Shot of Lydocane (I requested to numb had before IV) but I had a bad reaction, regurgitated :( Not sure if it is due to my shock reflex* or a reaction to the drug
6:30 - IV (no numbing) not too bad - my nurse was great and dind't feel it at all. Nurse took blood at the same time.
7:00 - Met Anesthesiologist who asked a billion history questions and described procedure
7:15 - Nurse gave drugs for nausea and pain
7:20 - Anestesiologist gave drugs "to relax"
7:30 - Wheeled into Surgery, some time spent putting pressure cuffs on feet, strapping me to table (I think I got another dose of a relaxant). Surgeon said a quick Hello, asked for last minute questions.
7:45 - Procedure Began
9:00 - Surgery over, Surgeon briefs my mom in waiting room. I go to recovery, my mom goes home.
10:00 - I wake up in recovery. I have a sharp pain on my left side (where the majority of the incisions are), I get one dose of pain killer via IV
10:20 - Pain remains sharp, another dose of pain killer in IV
10:45 - Nurse brings liquid pain killer (pain was beginning to numb) and water, sit up
10:45 - 11:15 ish, slowly sip 8 oz water, asked to sit up more, have to blow in contraption to exercise lings
11:30 - get dressed, fit with binder
12:00 - released with liquid painkiller (doesn't seem to work for me)
12:20 - 4 pm - At home, slept
4:00 pm - Ate 2 oz vanilla yogurt
7-10 pm - SLOOOOOOWLY sipped slim fast

----
Experience: OK, the worst part for me was BEFORE surgery when I threw up because of the shots. Nurses were great and very helpful. I was allowed to sleep after surgery and slowly drift into consciousness so I didn't feel the time-travel feeling. You DO have to really concentrate on breathing deeply after surgery to get enough oxygen... it was harder than it sounded.

I didn't feel any pain or discomfort from the intubation in my throat. All I could feel were my incisions... especially my "Big: One. I don't think I'm feeling gas pain, as my pain is localized to my incisions, but you never know. I have gas X strips, and in recovery I burped a lot (I also got mild hiccups after first sips of water, which was NOT fun). Nurse said if you feel the urge to burp or fart, don't fight it... it's how you get rid of the gas.

(I have one incision between my boobs, but BELOW the bra bottome line, another one 6-8" below that one, but about 1.5" above the belly button, two to either side of the lower button, about 1" higher, and 4" to either side, and one LONG incision (about 2.5-3" about 1" below the upper incision, and kinda between the lateral incisions... smaller incisions are about 1", maybe slightly off. i didn't measure. (see *marks)

(Incision Diagram:
[  {    }  {    }  ] (boobies)
[         *          ] (upper incision)
[           ***    ] (big incision)
[      *      *     ] (midline incisions)
[         *          ] (lower incision)
[         o          ] (belly button)

Advise: Don't pee in the morning before surgery, you'll be
asked to once you get in, if you aren't there is plenty of time to do so.

Don't hesitate to ASK for numbing creme/shot before IV, etc. Ladies, you will likely be asked to remove panties as well... but you can ask for the hospital mesh panties they are a bit ridiculous, but in there were times where I had to kick off the blankets because I got too hot - you dont want to broadcast yourself.

Also, tell them exactly what you are feeling, as soon as you are feeling it ... nausea, dizzy, weak, cold, hot, thirsty, etc... The nurses are there to help you feel better, not just to get you ready to discharge.

I was only able to comforably sleep on my right side... for some reason sleeping on my back wasn't as comforable.

CRAWL (literally) into bed, it's easier to reposition yourself that way than to drag your legs. To get out, roll onto your side and slide off, one leg at a time.

WEAR THE BINDER> I took mine off for 5 minutes and was miserable, could;nt even sit down as easily.

*(I have a shock reflex to pain, including, shots, blood draws, sharp injuries where I usually faint or get nautious(

Oh, and I asked to keep my gown... halloween is coming up after all.

I know I missed a lot, so please let me know if you have any questions about the process. For me, I had no nerves or anxiety going in, and was only wary of the needles... and I think If i had just "grinned and bear it", as I ultimatley had to with the IV, I wouldn;t have had the nausea/vomiting unpleasantness.

Monday, October 4

The Day Before

Today I am on CLEAR Liquids only (apple, cranberry or grape juice), water, crystal light, iced tea, broth, jell-o and popsicles. Nothing after midnight.

I have stuck with water, tea and LOTS of Jello (i think I had 3 servings) and I'm fine. I think it helped that I didn't wake up hungry and at noon I  had to take Milk of Magnesia. (2 oz)

I had both shots down OK (they taste like toothpaste) then about 1 minute later they totally disagreed with me and I regurgitated them. ( I think this was due to my gag reflex and sensitivity to thick liquids) so I had to go to the pharmacy and get some more. One the advised was 'Magnesium Citrate' which is thinner, tastes marginally better (I got cherry flavored), is pretty cheap, and apparently a LOT stronger... so instead of taking the entire 10oz as directed, I took half since a) I had been on all liquids for 2.5 days, and b) I didn't want to risk dehydration... needless to say it worked pretty fast... and the more water/liquid you drink afterward, teh better it works. The only downside was it was carbonated (just plain strange) and had a strange aftertasted, it sorta tasted like carbonated cough syrup meets thos liquid lollypops we had as kids.

For me, I had plenty of warning before a BM, and 5 hours later I was able to go shopping for about 1.5 hours with no emergencies.

Too easy, and still no nerves.

Sunday, October 3

The Final Countdown

My original surgery date was 10/8 - a date I handpicked for maximum convenience... It was a Friday, and this particular Friday I didn't have to work because the Monday (which I never work) was a holiday. I would then take the following week off work and have 11 days off work to recover.

Now, with the date moving up 3 days, and taking the remainder of the week off, I get only 6 days. Not so excited about less time, and I wanted to be on more normal foods before returning to work.

My surgeon isn't as evil as some out there, abotu 10 days liquid (including full liquids) then 7 days mushy and then gradual progression to whole foods... I've seen some poor Bandsters that had to do each phase for 2, 3 and even 4 weeks. Yech!. For me, the sooner I'm on a more normal diet the less I'm a grumpy monster, and therefore can be around other humans. I'm scared the hungry bitch will come out at work, which would be bad.

So, in addition to trying to run around and get myself set for the surgery and lifestyle change itself (need to get mug warmer and mason jars - necessary to keep things warm while eating, and easier to pack meals for work), chewy vitamins, food scale, etc... i ALSO have to re-sign my lease, schedule repairs, carpet cleaning, exterminators and maid service, do a whole truck load of laundry adn dishes... move EVERYTHING except appliances out of my kitchen seal my closet in case they decide to bug bomb, prepare to move myself and my animal into my mom's house for my recovery and deal with other, personal stuff. And I have only this weekend to do it .... i have to be at the mom's by 12pm Monday in order to take the Milk of Magnesia and get settled - no way i'm driving after the MOM.

It's crazy, but It's not affecting my emotions towards the surgery at all. Move the date up 3 days? Still totally chill - not nervous at all, no time to ready the house? Still chill. Maybe there's something wrong with me.

Monday, September 27

Long time no blog

So, to fast-forward several months, I have now been approved for the Lap-Band, completed all the pre-op appointments and have a surgery date looming in less than 2 weeks (10/8/2010 at 8am).

In addition to committing myself to a new way of life, a new relationship with food, and an ultimate "new me", I also commit to at least twice weekly blog updates. I'm also thinking of adding the following sections to the blog:

Timeline - inclusive of all events from first doctor's appointment to final weigh-in and all in between
"I hate the Fat" - weekly reminders of what I hate about being fat
Motivation - quotes, successes, funnies etc
Links - no explanation needed, right?
Other Stuff- what else is going in with my life

Hopefully will re-join you soon...

Since the last post - approved, doctor-appointmented to near death, and ups-and downs in regards to personal changes... due to an injury I slacked off on my exercise videos (which were kicking my ass by the way!) but I did join the gym at work and occasionally go on long walks during lunch break (I'd estimate 3/4 of a mile to 1 mile). Dieting going mostly healthy, but I don't want to waste too much food, so I had been trying to "eat up" reserves (mostly of rice - now almost completely out and will donate the excess to a local food bank or something)... It's been insanely hot this week (110 degrees in COASTAL Orange County, CA today) so I confess I had a frozen yogurt (oops!) but I really needed it.... I don't do well in heat over 78 degrees.... i actually feel sick, i think this is because i tend to run a few degrees hot anyway.

See you next time!

Monday, May 10

Bummer!

Just got denied for Lap-Band, so not I'm starting the appeal process, and also contacting my PCP to begin ticking off the Insurance company's requirements as a fall-back. still hoping to get banded by Thanksgiving, if not sooner.

Before & After Pics

(MyVirtualModel) Before & Goal After Pics... I hope I will make it!

Widget # 1

First of many widgets & links to come...


Saturday, May 8

When's gonna be my time?

I have a feeling this week's theme will be "patience"...

Hopefully I'll hear something back from my insurance/doctor for the surgery; hopefully my toe will feel all better so I can exercise; hopefully I can do a little bit of shopping for vacation (2 1/2 more weeks!) and hopefully I can successfully map out a menu for the rest of the month, one that equals no grocery shopping until June (I think I can do it!).

...On LapBandTalk forums today, seems like mixed nuts as to what I can expect/ how quickly I can get this process going... every day since I've made the decision to get banded I wake up and notice something new I hate about being fat / another reason to lose the excess weight.. today's issue? Roll Rash. If you're fat, you know what that means.

... So, grant me patience, it will be worth it in the end!

Thursday, May 6

Work it out!

I ordered some workout videos from Amazon.Com recently, with low expectations. Since I've been disappointed by past videos (assorted from Yoga to Balance Ball to Cardio) - the main failing seems to be they don't actually make the vidoes for fat people....

so, I ordered four of the 'Biggest Loser' vidoes. I figured if on the TV show (which I have never actually watched) people who are fatter than I can do the exercises, and lose weight, so could I.

I popped in the first (Quick Start), which is bascially 10 minute exercises sets targeting different things, cardio , upper and lower body, abs and stretches... and cardio level 1 kicked my ass. 90% of the moves were easy enought to do, but still kicked my ass on stamina, which is improving. It was also nice to see people exercising on the video who weren't models -- in fact they ranged from thin to chubby to fat (they all did better than me). It was nice to exercise, and the tapes despite being hokey were "fun".

Last night I popped in the "real" exercised DVDs (30 minute routines at 3 different difficulty levels) - Cardio, Sculpting and Boot Camp to watch - just see how intimidating they were so I could procrastinate... but after watching a few minutes of Cardio level 1 i rewould it and did the exercises, kicked my ass again, but I could do it, and as the trainer says "if you dont have the endurance, scale it down, jog in place - just keep moving and keep the heart rate up and it will still be beneficial cardio exercise",

I completed the video with very few 'alterations' felt great and actually, stragenly enjoyed it. Recommend.

Was fully ready to do another round when i got home from work, but MAJORLY stubbed my toe - as in possibly broken, then when I tried to tenderfoot around it i stubbed a toe (not bad) on the other foot, so it's no go on the exercise for a few days, and I am HONESTLY bummed.

Sunday, May 2

The (embarrassing) details

My stats as of right now

Age: 27
Height: 5'6.5
Weight: 275
BMI: 43.7
Size: 22 (ish)

Welcome!

Hello to anyone who may be out there.

As you have probably deduced from the blog title, I'm a fat young woman who is on a mission to lose the extra person I'm carrying around and change my life.

Why the blog? Accountability for one, history, inspiration, motivation, and many more reasons fuel this endeavor. And I'll do it all honestly... no lying, i swear.